Beware of the(se) Ide(a)s of March
It’s always relieving to hear that an event will occur “as sure as the seasons turn,” but I think the figure of speech itself is misleading. After all, the transition from winter to spring is hardly a sure thing: we leave it up to a groundhog—not a discreet turn of the calendar—to tell us when we need trade snow for pollen. We have historically put our seasonal fates in the hands of a burrowing buck-toothed mammal, and it turns out those aren’t good hands at all; they’re paws, and chancy ones at that. I call for a new annual reference point to mark the turning of these seasons—one that is consistent, and unlikely to be pushed back six weeks just because some varmint can’t see his shadow.
So what are our other contenders? We could do the ole’ first day of the month—get “springy” on March 1st. I don’t think, though, that many things are in bloom by then in certain parts of the country. The first day of spring is supposed to be representative of spring, and it defeats the purpose of picking a new day if that day still carries the burdens of winter.
Then what about ‘dem “Ides of March,” which falls right on the 15th each time. It sounds like the first approximation of a good seasonal marker—consistent year by year, appropriate weather-wise—but I fear Shakespeare gave it too much of a bad rap. It would be silly to pick an important new date that stands stigmatized from the start.
Bottom line: we need a marker with a good reputation, and few events fit the criteria as neatly as March Madness (formally known as the NCAA Men’s Division 1 Basketball Championship. It is inarguably the best play-off tournament set-up of any spectator sport, and it makes sunshine a requirement of yesterday. That is, even if its March 20something starting date isn’t late enough to guarantee good weather, most people are satisfied enough with the light emanating from their television screens to not notice. Late enough, reputable enough, and not contingent on the weather outside—I think we’ve found the perfect occasion for a Back to Spring celebration.
I guess only one question remains: is March Madness popular enough for this new significance to work its way into collective memory? I’d vote yes, and for a reason. The Tournament involves only single-elimination games, so viewers are always watching two teams with everything on the line. The mere suspense behind such a reckoning is bound to get anyone excited, regardless of his/her level of fanhood prior to the game. Also, it provides conversation fodder for weeks on end. This is important, because the departure of winter means no more generic comments about the weather.
In sum, I call for the abolition of Groundhog Day followed by the inauguration of March Madness’s play-in game into the Season Turner Hall of Fame. C’mon people, lets lend some credence and constancy to the old saying.
Go Stanford & UNC!!!
Peace, Love & Personalized Media,
-John the Intern
